The Cost of Dreaming

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Why I'm afraid to be happy.
Why I’m afraid to be happy.

Hi Everyone!

So, here’s the good news everyone: I got into medical school — and my tuition is covered at Boston University via scholarship/loan.

Here’s the bad news everyone: my projected cost of living ($17,000 per year) was not covered (AHHHH!). I needed a cosigner, tried with my parents and it turns out it won’t go through (they took on another loan, not by me, and that person defaulted). So, now I’m in a pretty big pinch — as in I’m not sure how I will pay or rent or acquire calories — but I know I’ll be in medical school!

What’s my next move?

I won’t lie, my first reaction was to mentally assume the “fetal position”. After working hard to get into medical school, I never really imagined that being poor would end up being a liability — I suppose falsely correlated working hard with reward — I’m prone to this misconception. As a co-worker at the office of research said, “That must of felt like a punch in the gut”, truer words have never been said.


I appreciative that qualified for one  scholarship. But, this month I’ll be devoting time to reaching out to more scholarships to hopefully make ends meet. I looked into military medicine scholarships, but I’m also not comfortable with the matching terms (they chose your residency/specialty more or less), and com’n me (Bob Marley MD) in the military?

Try for more loans?

This will be difficult, as I don’t exactly have a close knit family, so I don’t really have alternative options for cosigner. So, that’s likely not going to work out like it stereo-typically “should”. I can’t really go back and fix the past, but if I ever have kids I’ll remember the education money trap they may fight against (though, I’ll make sure my kids never experience it).

*Are you wealthy prince/princess willing to fund my medschool journey? =)*

Make money….somehow!

Well, that’s my only option here. My tuition is covered, and I have a few thousand in the bank so I can pay for rent for a few months at least. After that it’s pretty much up in the air. I considered getting a job while in medical school, but I’m a little afraid that it’ll detract from my education — and I’ve pretty much always had a side job, I was looking forward to just “studying”. However, as I’m left with dwindling options it looks like I may be working during medschool at some point.

I’ve been approached about selling my blog (I didn’t know people bought blogs), but I’ve dismissed that as an option — this is blog is rather therapeutic for me. I’m also against monetizing my blog with ads, but I am debating setting up a Paypal  donate button or those who’d like to help keep me clothed and feed in Boston in the future.

I don’t believe that karma exist for scientific reasons alone. However, I have to admit it favors me to not believe in karma, because if I did I’d really start to wonder atrocity I’ve committed in the universe (or past life) that now needs righting. Neither the less, I’ll continue to do what I do best, move on into the unknown.

Anyways, don’t expect any hiccups of my blog, nor don’t expect me to try to gauge you into paying for my content now. I assume, you are like me, broke (po’ folk). Let’s mutually wish each other luck.

Note to self:

If there is a next life, remember to be born in a better position. But for now, I’m stuck in this one and have to make due with the tools I have at my disposal. No regrets.

add me on twitter @doctororbust

or email me

Stay positive.


11 thoughts on “The Cost of Dreaming

    Z said:
    May 4, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    I’m so glad to hear that tuition is covered! Will keep you in my thoughts about getting your projected cost of living figured out without you having to sell an organ or something. 😉

      doctororbust responded:
      May 4, 2014 at 9:01 pm

      Haha, thank you. Though, if you need a lung I’m in the market =D

        Z said:
        May 4, 2014 at 9:02 pm

        I’ll keep it in mind the next time someone asks for a spare lung. :3

        doctororbust responded:
        May 4, 2014 at 9:30 pm

        My liver, that goes at a highly discounted rate.

        Z said:
        May 5, 2014 at 6:01 am

        What about your kidneys?

    allopathicjay said:
    May 4, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    Congrats on getting into med school. Thank God the application season is over.

      doctororbust responded:
      May 4, 2014 at 10:37 pm

      Thank you! It’s hard to believe last year, around this time, I was applying for medical school – or rather, doubting if I should apply at all.

      It really shows you just have to dream sometimes.

    serend1p1ty said:
    May 5, 2014 at 1:10 am

    Ugh, I’ve had similar fears about what I will do when that time comes – I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you!

      doctororbust responded:
      May 5, 2014 at 1:25 am

      There’s definitely a disadvantage if you don’t have the finances, but if/when I figure it out I’ll pass on the info. Though, as an URM, it’s discouraging in principle.

    D Ward said:
    May 15, 2014 at 12:35 am

    Congrats on your acceptance and I wish you all the best in covering your cost of living! Hopefully you’ll be able to find a nice solution soon.

      doctororbust responded:
      May 15, 2014 at 12:43 am

      Thanks for reading and posting. The money is coming together, I’ll be posting about it soon. Hope you continue reading!

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